We are already into chapter 4 of our book. I think this chapter will be particularly significant to us because we are all in school, have recently graduated from school, are searching for a job, are thinking of moving away from home, live far away from our families, or any number of these. Thankfully, God has a unique plan for each of us and a specific role to fill. Pray that we can each discover the role God has mapped out for us and that we don't become discouraged as we wait for God to work in us.
"For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Keep posting prayer requests and praying for each other. I can feel God doing great things here.
XOXO
This is something that I have really struggled with lately - finding contentment in my current role. I remember a few months ago thanking God for the 'role' he had me in. I was still frustrated with unemployment and lack of direction, but I saw that God had me here for a reason. My cousin had a baby who had health problems and was in and out of the hospital for the first few months of her life and I was able to go to the hospital and sit with my cousin when everyone else had to work. My grandma got pretty sick last year and wasn't able to do a lot of her regular tasks and I was able to be there to help her out. My friend moved home after living in Florida for 4+ years and I was able to re-establish and re-build a relationship and friendship with him. I also have been able to spend time with my family and watch my little cousins grow up. I remember thanking God for this 'invaluable' time that I am having here at home because who knows when that all may change.
ReplyDeleteLately, I have not had the best attitude about my being here. I think my frustration point has hit a new level and I'm simply ready to go, ready to do something, and ready to 'start my life'. This chapter definitely helped me to see that I need to really focus on the role that God has for me here and to see that he has me still here for a reason.
I can't exactly relate with them women who were e-mailing each other about being run down by their families and lives, but I think that segment of the chapter definitely just pointed out that everyone else's life always seems more glamorous than ours, but we don't know what it's like unless we're in their shoes. It also helped me to see that there are things to be thankful for in every walk and every situation in life, and focusing on those things is much better than focusing on the negatives. We have so much to be thankful for and we just have to always remember that God has us where we are for a reason and dealing with the things we are because he is only trying to make us stronger followers of him. And that's definitely something to be thankful for!
I am also feeling discontent in the current role I have in my career. As I have mentioned before, all ever wanted was to be a successful business woman. I never thought about being a wife or a mother... I just wanted to be successful in my career. Last night, while I was attending the Seabee Ball, many of Andy's fellow officers and their spouses asked me if I was still working at the pool... I reluctantly told them that I was. I feel so much shame in my job and have a very hard time accepting how this is the role God has given to me. I have a hard time taking the attitude of glorifying God when I am watching people swim for 5-8 hours a day.
DeleteAbout 2 weeks ago I went to a career fair for military people and their spouses. The career fair was in the Seattle football stadium and had about 70 companies attending. I was a little reluctant to go because of the size of the event but decided that it was a great opportunity. At 8am I was on the ferry heading to Seattle and by 9am I was walking next to America's heroes looking for a company to make connections with. I did my homework before and had specific companies that I wanted to talk to. The most promising conversation I had was with a recruiter from Starbucks corporate. The conversation I had with him made me excited for many of the things in marketing that Starbucks is pursuing right now. The recruiter asked for my resume and then handed me his business card and told me to stay in touch. I was in contact with the recruiter over the couple of days following the event, I found a job at Starbucks that I qualified for and created a resume that I felt was flawless. This past Tuesday I went to submit my resume but realized they took the job off the website. I was devastated... I don't think that it was that simple thing... it's just been two years of trying to find a job but have had no leads. I came home one night this week feeling so discouraged, I just laid on the floor in my dark bathroom and cried. I never cry, but I just came to a point of complete exhaustion and discouragement in all my efforts to find a professional job.
I really like your point, Michelle, when you are talking about struggling with finding contentment in your current role then finding out later why God had you where you were. Sometimes it is so hard to see how God is working in your current circumstance and you usually don't see it until later on down the road.
I really like a quote from pg 67, "Faithfulness is God's standard! As His servants we are not required to be perfect or successful-simply faithful." The prayer on pg. 67 is my prayer for this week: "HOLY FATHER, YOU KNOW THE JOYS, THE HEARTACHES OF MY ROLE. I CONFESS THAT I HAVE FOUGHT AGAINST WHAT YOU HAVE GIVEN. GRANT ME THE COURAGE TO BE A SERVANT. OH, GOD, I LONG TO BE FAITHFUL TO YOU. I ACCEPT MY ASSIGNED ROLE AS A GIFT. TEACH ME TO 'CEASE STRIVING AND KNOW THAT YOU ARE GOD.'"
Jenna, what a beautiful prayer :)
DeleteMichelle and Jenna, I don't know at this point exactly how it feels to go through what you explained in your posts. But I do know that I am scared to start looking for a teaching job, because I'm afraid it will be a long time before I can find one in this area.
I have always had minimum wage paying jobs from when I was fifteen and started working and made $5.15 cleaning tables at a restaraunt. This past semester at Edinboro, I worked as a graduate assistant in the education department and even though I still made just above minimum wage, this was the first time I have ever felt needed or useful at a job. At my other jobs, I felt like my bosses could easily replace me and that really anybody could do what I did. In other words, I wasn't using my skills or my attributes to do the job. However, working in the office at Edinboro, I felt like I really mattered. I had alot of responsibility and carried this weight well. I was good at my job and enjoyed it! I am afraid that I won't feel this again for awhile and that even though I will have my Master's Degree this summer, I will have to go back to waitressing or working part-time jobs. I think this is a real fear for many people. As of now, I have faith that God will guide me and I hope that I can keep this positive outlook.
I heard this song driving to school the other day and I really want everybody to listen to it. It is called "Do Everything" by Steven Curtis Chapman. If you copy and paste this link, it will take you to a youtube video with the lyrics.
Chapmanhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEqdDdvFXZ0
I am praying for you always!
Oh and the last couple paragraphs on page 61 were awesome! This is another thing I have struggled with. I still don't look at myself as being a 'grown-up' or living in the 'real world' because I'm still living at home, working a part-time job, and various other reasons. I am not overly unhappy with my current relationship status, or lack of one, I suppose. Most days I am pretty content with being single and haven't started stressing out about that...and hopefully won't, ha. But I think it's huge when she says that growing up is when we "...see our life and our role from God's perspective; when we thank God for the role He has assigned us and begin to see our cup as a gift instead of a cross..." That's what we all need to strive for in our roles and as growing women!
ReplyDeleteI also really liked the last few paragraphs on page 61 :-). I've had trouble feeling like an adult too. All of my classmates that I graduated with went off and got real jobs. They have fancy cars and don't do homework on the weekends. It was hard for me to accept my role in grad school if I compared myself to other people -- I saw what I could have had instead of what I did have.
DeleteWhat the book is saying is that I should feel blessed for my role...and I totally am! Even though it took me awhile to figure it out. God gave me the ability to do well in grad school. I mean, my school is paid for, I have great labmates and coworkers, I have met wonderful people here, and found a church that I love. God totally put me here. He wants me here. He has blessed me by this opportunity.
What I like about this chapter is that Linda reminds us that the grass isn't always greenr on the other side and that we should look for the positives and praise god for our blessings and for our struggles. I find myself making even more of a consious effort to find the positive in each day. Afterall, God has given each new day to me as a gift and watches anxiously as I unwrap it. He will guid me through each moment of my life and walks in front of, as well as next to me :)
ReplyDeleteOne thing I found odd about this chapter is that Linda identifies just three main roles for a woman to play: wife, single woman, or widow. I think she focuses on this out of necessity since it would be a very long chapter if she were to look at all the roles women play. However, I don't always equate my role with my relatioship status. I am in a relatioship with someone I love dearly and that is a huge part of my life, but I also play the role of teacher at school and student at Edinboro and athlete when I go to the gym and friend when I am with friends and daughter when I am with my parents and on and on... It reminds me of the Dove deodorant commercial where the ask the women to wear a bracelet of jingle bells to show how much women move around all day. We play so many roles!
I am not a mother, but I wonder sometimes if discontentment stems from focusing so hard on just playing that one role and trying to play it to perfection that we forget to meet our other needs. i have focused to much on playing the role of teacher lately that I have kind of forgotten myself. One of the teachers at the school met me before school started and told me I seem very rundown compared to when I first started. At first, I thought she was kidding; I didn't even realize how tired I have been. My focus on my role as teacher and perfecting this skill actually led me to feel discontent with myself.
Maybe I am ranting, but anyone know what I mean?
Very well put! I absolutely love your point, Libby! Women have so many roles. We should not be categorized into 3 roles of single, wife, widow. I love the roles that you have identified for yourself! I also love your marketing example. Great perspective, Libby. :)
DeleteI definitely know what you mean. In fact, it's hardest for me to identify with my relationship status, I think mostly because I spent so much time being single, that being not single now is weird. Still. I was so into not letting my singleness define me before. But it is very easy for me to identify with my role as student, friend, daughter, sister, employee, etc.
DeleteI sometimes have trouble balancing the many roles too. Should I be a good employee or leave work early to help a friend move out of her apartment? When I go home to visit family, should I also bring home my school work? Should I give up studying for a test one night because I want to bake my boyfriend a cake for his birthday? I feel like my roles conflict a lot, which is a large source of stress for me. I want to please every role perfectly, but it's just impossible. I think contentment comes with finding the balance that works.
Molly, I agree. It is so hard to balance all the roles we play and this juggling is the main source of all my stress. I try to be perfect at everything I do and get angry at myself when I am not. If I write a lesson plan, I have to do do it perfectly and research the topic and prepare for anything that can (and usually does) happen in the classroom. If I decide to go for a run to unwind, I can't just go for a jog, I have to run at least two miles and I can't stop and I have to do it fast! In my eyes, I can't mess anything up or do anything halfway becuase then I will be a total failure. I don't know why I feel this need to always push myself, always find a way to be better in some area. I know I take this to the extreme though. I am just finishing up my Master's, but I am already considering getting my Ph.D. and becoming a professor just for the sake of reaching the top...
DeleteI know I need to find contentment with myself and be okay with messing up once in a while:) I need to find a balance between a healthy amount of pressure on myself and an unhealthy, stressful pressure on myself.
I think that this might be my favorite chapter so far! Except I think I say that every time!!! I liked that Linda said... we aren't required to be perfect or successful, just faithful. Using the gifts that God gave us to do what He calls us to do. In today's day and age I think that women take their roles very seriously.
ReplyDeleteI have been struggling with my role recently... not necessarily complaining about it, but sometimes I feel like what I want for my life is far out of my reach. I'm still in school and still working part time... when will I have a real job? There are so many things that I feel I need to accomplish before I'll be the person I'm supposed to be. Does that sound crazy!? Ha ha. Then there are times that I realize that God has me in this place right now for a reason and I just need to let His light shine through me in the current roles I'm in right now! I just need to focus on being the best wife I can be, the best student I can be, and the best employee I can be.
Salysa,
DeleteI think sometimes waiting is the hardest part! I have been a student for 18 years straight now and to be honest, I am really tired of it! I want to be done being a student for Peter's sake! Ha :) I look at Keith and I am so proud of him for getting his MET degree and finding a great job that he enjoys with good pay and benefits. I wonder too when I will find this.
Even though I want those things in my future, I have to remember to focus on today and the blessings wrapped up in it. God gave me this day...I decide what I am going to do with it. I want to live each moment out for Him and pray for ways to spread his word.
I like that you said be the best you can be in each role God gives you! If God calls us to be garbage women, then we need to pick up other people's trash like there is nothing better in this world and praise God for our role!