The advice from the one lady: never complain about anything, not even the weather. Hahaaa. How often do I complain about JUST the weather? And let alone everything else? School work, work work, needing to do things that are stressful and uncomfortable for me. I think I'll try to start with not complaining about the weather, and then work my way up from there :-)
Is anyone else so confused about question 8.b.? I think it is difficult to say what most women really do. Given that the majority of women in the world live in the developing countries and their status is very 'subordinate' (India, China, Middle East, Africa...) - you know what I mean - it really seems to me, even from the life stories of women that are in the book, that most women are very content. Yet, the question implies that we should answer Yes, that most women try to control things...
I kind of stopped and looked at that one too, Ellie. I agree that it is very difficult to generalize "most women" given the variety of life styles in which women just in the Western World live. I know that I like to feel that I have control of situations and when I don't it becomes a very frustrating experience. Because of this, I really like a sentence from page 18, "Contentment is accepting God's sovereign control over ALL life's circumstances." Having said this I feel like I can speak for myself but have a hard time generalizing "all women." I think that it depends on many factors.
Ellie, In regards to the monk story... at first my reaction was like yours in that I thought the story was implying that we should not pray specific things. However, the more I thought about it, I think that it is implying the whole control concept... that we should not pray to try to control situations (or pray having only what we think is best in mind). I think that it is about the state of the heart... we should be specific in our prayers but with the understanding that God knows what is best. Anyway that was my take on it... I am not sure I did a good job at explaining it. Maybe someone else can do a better job :)
I thought the same thing when I read this. I think you are right, Jenna, that it matters what is in our hearts. I think when we pray for specific things, it is not necessarily a way of demanding things from God, but rather a type of conversation we are having with Him. It is almost a way of venting and just talking with God, which He loves. As we pray these things though, we need to recognize God's sovereignty and his control over the situation, not our control. Its like saying these are the things I want and need and I know God will do what's best for me :)
To go along with Ellie's thoughts about contentedness in the majority of women...I think a lot of it comes from age and what society deems we should be doing at certain times in our life. But I don't just think this applies to women...I think it can definitely apply to men, too. During high school, we are expected to get good grades and start obtaining jobs...and then if we go on to college, there is a societal pressure to figure out what we are going to do with our lives after we graduate. I still keep in touch with one of my Psychology professors who just told me the other day that she turned 40 this year - and having turned 40 without a husband and kids, she feels like the oddball out. She said she loves moving around and teaching, but she also feels like she never "grew up". To this extent, I am struggling (and have been since graduation) with what I'm doing right now with my life, and what my family (and an invisible society) feels I should be doing.
I don't know if this makes any sense. But I can certainly say that I'm glad we are reading this particular book. I can relate to every word.
I love the Prescription for Contentment. In fact, I'm going to copy the statements down and pin them on my wall. I think if we, as a discontented people, can stop worrying about tomorrow and next week and six months from now, that's when we'll really be able to see God's hand in our lives. And if there is one thing I would like to see in this extremely stressful and mysterious stage in my life, it's God hand.
Aeriale, you can put into words what I couldn't. Thank you! I also feel that most of my unhappiness comes when things or myself don't meet my own expectations (which are many times the cultural ones). I think it would be actually helpful sometimes not to expect anything...
I should go now and copy the statements down also (and memorize some Chapter 1 verses ) :)
This completely makes sense, Aeriale. I agree that the idea control and manipulation can apply to all genders, ages and cultures. Very well put, Aeriale. :)
In summary, I think that this chapter has changed my idea of what contentment is. The definition of "contented" in the Merriam-Webster's dictionary is: "feeling or showing satisfaction with one's possessions, status, or situation." This definition is what I think of when I think of being content; however, I think that Linda Dillow may be suggesting a more profound meaning to the word.
As I mentioned in a earlier comment a sentence from page 18, "contentment is accepting God's sovereign control over all of life's circumstances." I think that I like this idea of being content rather than the what our culture says... there is less pressure when I say, "God you are in control."
Linda states on page 13 that, "most of us base our contentment on our circumstances, on our feelings, or on other people. However, true contentment is separate from our circumstances. Contentment is a state of the heart, not a state of affairs." I love this idea, "contentment is a state of the heart." For me, the idea of humbling my heart to give to God everything that is out of my control lifts such a heavy burden.
For just about my entire life I have pictured what life would be like when I graduated from college. I pictured myself working in a big city, wearing high heals, and traveling all around the world. Well, needless to say I am now almost 2 years past graduation and my current job is anything but what I always pictured. I have gone through this long process of being absolutely devastated.
During worship on a Sunday right around the beginning of this year, I finally said to God, my job situation is in your hands, God, not mine. Before, my mindset was, God, help me find the job in which I have worked so hard. It wasn't an over night thing, but I think that it is a slow change in the state of my heart. God is in control and what more could I want.
I agree with you so much on this, Jenna. In my mind I have always thought, "Wow, I mean, not having to worry about things because God has it taken care of is awesome!" but more in my heart it has been, "Yea, it's pretty cool, but that doesn't mean I won't try and control every aspect anyways." I love the idea of God's ultimate control over my life, but I refuse to give it up.
This chapter was definitely eye-opening for me. I think that discontentedness can apply to anyone at pretty much any stage of life that we are ever in. It seems like one of the biggest struggles in life. Constantly questioning the unknown and being completely at odds with the fact that we cannot foresee our own futures. I mean honestly, when was the last time you were just happy with where you were in life? I can think of about two times when I’ve looked at where I was and thought, “Yea, I’m just living.” (And I mean that in a good sense, as to, I am happy with my life, I’m content, I’m living in the moment type of just living.)
One of my best friends from high school, who moved away after graduation, came back to preach at our home church a couple weeks ago. I was sitting there listening to his message, but in the middle of his sermon I came to a conclusion: This kid is living. He is married and working in Maryland, but he’s not in his ideal situation. He wants to be a worship pastor, however, he’s currently working in the accounting department of a company in a relatively entry-level position. Regardless, he’s happy and he knows that in time he will reach his goals…and he understands that it’s in God’s time, not his own. And that to me, is living. Living for God and his will and not being angry and frustrated because we aren’t exactly where we expect we ‘should’ be or whatever at this point in our lives and trusting in the fact that you are exactly where God wants you to be.
In the monk story: I liked the idea of pointing out that so many times we think we know what's best. For the monk, he thought he was doing the tree a favor; maybe dude was a botanist and knew exactly what science said should make that tree grow properly. In his mind, his praying for those things were only for the good of the tree, but the thing is, you can't explain God with science. And him telling God what the tree needed was essentially saying, “I know what’s better for your creation than you do…” and isn’t that what we do by constantly trying to control our own lives and not trusting God to do that?
(I apologize because I feel like this was kind of all over the place, but that's how my mind works haha)
Not all over the place at all :-) I completely follow your thought process, and I understand what you mean when you say your friend is living! I really want to be living too! And I try my hardest to do that every day while I'm here.
It's hard for me to be content where I am right now because I KNOW that, come August -- no matter what, I will be somewhere else doing something else. I will graduate (again), and be forced into a new routine. One of my grad school friends just moved away yesterday, and I had a super hard time with it (like, way harder than I thought I would...it wasn't like I was incredibly close to this kid either...sure we had a few classes together and he was in my main group of friends, but it's not like we had super deep conversations or anything). But the day he was gone I was suuuuper sad thinking about it. I think it's because I know that one-by-one all of my other grad school friends are going to leave too as they finish their theses, and soon it'll be my turn.
Being content with where I am now means getting attached to people and being even sadder when they leave. I'm getting very attached to State College, because I HAVE been mostly content here for the past year. But slowly the past few months I've been losing that contentedness because I know it will soon be over. And I know that's not actually how it should be, but that's how my brain sees it right now. This book should help with that I think :-)
And I have NO idea what is next. And it's hard for me not to try to control where I end up and what I end up doing. But at the same time, I need to find a job, you know? Ahhhh. What if I hate it?
Michelle, I love that you described contentment as living. This makes complete sense and is what we all strive for I think. Its undoubtedly hard to do this when things are tough, and I personally think that is because we as humans have a hard time grasping the concept that God does want what is good for us.
Molly, I know exactly how you feel. I am seriously concerned about what I am going to do after I get my master's degree. I will have loan payments coming and will need to find a job and will I live at home or will I try to get an apartment and can I find a job and money for gas and groceries and a job... It becomes so overwhelming! I stay up worrying about it sometimes. I am learning to trust God, but I still am the type of person who wants to know what the road in front of me looks like. I don't like surprises. I have to believe though that I'll get through it, no matter what "it" is and I'll have God there with me, every little clumsy human step of the way. :)
I have just simply loved this book! I truely believe it is exactly what God wanted us to read. Before starting this book I knew what contentment meant, but now I'm beginning to understand that God himself is the source of our Christian contentment. Like Linda Dillow says, "Christ is able to provide the strength we need to be content." My favorite part about Chapter 1 was the prescription for contentment on page 13... when I read it I loved it so much I read it aloud to my husband:) I enjoyed the story of the 2 monks growing the olive trees as well, and how the second monk said, "He who made it knows better what it needs than a man like me."Amen!
Hi Salysa! I also read the prescription for contentment to my husband. It is always nice hear his perspective on things like that :) I am glad that you are in the group!
My favorite part of this chapter was on page 16 in the 4th paragraph down. It says "Looking back, I realize I did desire to trust God, but sometimes, He was very slow. When He was moving at what I thought was a snail's pace, I unconsciously decided He needed my help." Ha, this made me laugh. God needs my help to work things in my life...how presumptuous and proud of me to think this, but I so often do. I know that my "problem" with contentment is my lack of trust in God. I don't always believe that God wants good things for me. I know He is powerful, he created the universe, and I know he is King of kings and Ruler over all, and fankly, that makes me nervous. Even though I know the explanation to my fear, I still wonder why God would care so much about me. Often times, my main way of thinking is He can so easily take the good things in my life away for the sake of drawing me closer to him. I know this is the wrong way of thinking and that God wouldn't hurt me on purpose. How thankful I am that we have a patient, understanding God!
I am slowly learning to trust God through Jesus. I have started to talk out loud to God :) Usually when I am in my car by myself, driving to school everyday or driving home for the weekend, I talk out loud to God. Most mornings, I stare out my windsheild and say, "I trust you God and I love you!" I say it over and over and sometimes yell it just to make sure He hears me. This is my open declaration to God that I trust Him, or I am trying to trust Him. I picture Him on his throne laughing and saying "you have every reason to trust Me and I love you too!"
I know one of my contentment troubles stems from trusting God and seeing that even when we think He is being "slow," He is actually working something great, something miraculous, just becuase He wants to.
The advice from the one lady: never complain about anything, not even the weather. Hahaaa. How often do I complain about JUST the weather? And let alone everything else? School work, work work, needing to do things that are stressful and uncomfortable for me. I think I'll try to start with not complaining about the weather, and then work my way up from there :-)
ReplyDeleteAnd we got SNOW yesterday! YAYYY!!
Is anyone else so confused about question 8.b.? I think it is difficult to say what most women really do. Given that the majority of women in the world live in the developing countries and their status is very 'subordinate' (India, China, Middle East, Africa...) - you know what I mean - it really seems to me, even from the life stories of women that are in the book, that most women are very content. Yet, the question implies that we should answer Yes, that most women try to control things...
ReplyDeleteWhat do ya'll think?
I kind of stopped and looked at that one too, Ellie. I agree that it is very difficult to generalize "most women" given the variety of life styles in which women just in the Western World live. I know that I like to feel that I have control of situations and when I don't it becomes a very frustrating experience. Because of this, I really like a sentence from page 18, "Contentment is accepting God's sovereign control over ALL life's circumstances." Having said this I feel like I can speak for myself but have a hard time generalizing "all women." I think that it depends on many factors.
DeleteI have also blogged about Chapted 1 on my blog here:
ReplyDeletehttp://godcreatedtheheavens.blogspot.com/
I was not sure about how to do that here - It would be one heck of a long comment...
Ellie, In regards to the monk story... at first my reaction was like yours in that I thought the story was implying that we should not pray specific things. However, the more I thought about it, I think that it is implying the whole control concept... that we should not pray to try to control situations (or pray having only what we think is best in mind). I think that it is about the state of the heart... we should be specific in our prayers but with the understanding that God knows what is best. Anyway that was my take on it... I am not sure I did a good job at explaining it. Maybe someone else can do a better job :)
DeleteI thought the same thing when I read this. I think you are right, Jenna, that it matters what is in our hearts. I think when we pray for specific things, it is not necessarily a way of demanding things from God, but rather a type of conversation we are having with Him. It is almost a way of venting and just talking with God, which He loves. As we pray these things though, we need to recognize God's sovereignty and his control over the situation, not our control. Its like saying these are the things I want and need and I know God will do what's best for me :)
DeleteEllie - you said ya'll. Teehee.
ReplyDeleteI was wondering if anyone would notice :D I am glad you did, Molly.
DeleteHi Ladies :)
ReplyDeleteTo go along with Ellie's thoughts about contentedness in the majority of women...I think a lot of it comes from age and what society deems we should be doing at certain times in our life. But I don't just think this applies to women...I think it can definitely apply to men, too. During high school, we are expected to get good grades and start obtaining jobs...and then if we go on to college, there is a societal pressure to figure out what we are going to do with our lives after we graduate. I still keep in touch with one of my Psychology professors who just told me the other day that she turned 40 this year - and having turned 40 without a husband and kids, she feels like the oddball out. She said she loves moving around and teaching, but she also feels like she never "grew up". To this extent, I am struggling (and have been since graduation) with what I'm doing right now with my life, and what my family (and an invisible society) feels I should be doing.
I don't know if this makes any sense. But I can certainly say that I'm glad we are reading this particular book. I can relate to every word.
I love the Prescription for Contentment. In fact, I'm going to copy the statements down and pin them on my wall. I think if we, as a discontented people, can stop worrying about tomorrow and next week and six months from now, that's when we'll really be able to see God's hand in our lives. And if there is one thing I would like to see in this extremely stressful and mysterious stage in my life, it's God hand.
Aeriale,
Deleteyou can put into words what I couldn't. Thank you! I also feel that most of my unhappiness comes when things or myself don't meet my own expectations (which are many times the cultural ones). I think it would be actually helpful sometimes not to expect anything...
I should go now and copy the statements down also (and memorize some Chapter 1 verses ) :)
This completely makes sense, Aeriale. I agree that the idea control and manipulation can apply to all genders, ages and cultures. Very well put, Aeriale. :)
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteIn summary, I think that this chapter has changed my idea of what contentment is. The definition of "contented" in the Merriam-Webster's dictionary is: "feeling or showing satisfaction with one's possessions, status, or situation." This definition is what I think of when I think of being content; however, I think that Linda Dillow may be suggesting a more profound meaning to the word.
ReplyDeleteAs I mentioned in a earlier comment a sentence from page 18, "contentment is accepting God's sovereign control over all of life's circumstances." I think that I like this idea of being content rather than the what our culture says... there is less pressure when I say, "God you are in control."
Linda states on page 13 that, "most of us base our contentment on our circumstances, on our feelings, or on other people. However, true contentment is separate from our circumstances. Contentment is a state of the heart, not a state of affairs." I love this idea, "contentment is a state of the heart." For me, the idea of humbling my heart to give to God everything that is out of my control lifts such a heavy burden.
For just about my entire life I have pictured what life would be like when I graduated from college. I pictured myself working in a big city, wearing high heals, and traveling all around the world. Well, needless to say I am now almost 2 years past graduation and my current job is anything but what I always pictured. I have gone through this long process of being absolutely devastated.
During worship on a Sunday right around the beginning of this year, I finally said to God, my job situation is in your hands, God, not mine. Before, my mindset was, God, help me find the job in which I have worked so hard. It wasn't an over night thing, but I think that it is a slow change in the state of my heart. God is in control and what more could I want.
I agree with you so much on this, Jenna. In my mind I have always thought, "Wow, I mean, not having to worry about things because God has it taken care of is awesome!" but more in my heart it has been, "Yea, it's pretty cool, but that doesn't mean I won't try and control every aspect anyways." I love the idea of God's ultimate control over my life, but I refuse to give it up.
DeleteThis chapter was definitely eye-opening for me. I think that discontentedness can apply to anyone at pretty much any stage of life that we are ever in. It seems like one of the biggest struggles in life. Constantly questioning the unknown and being completely at odds with the fact that we cannot foresee our own futures. I mean honestly, when was the last time you were just happy with where you were in life? I can think of about two times when I’ve looked at where I was and thought, “Yea, I’m just living.” (And I mean that in a good sense, as to, I am happy with my life, I’m content, I’m living in the moment type of just living.)
ReplyDeleteOne of my best friends from high school, who moved away after graduation, came back to preach at our home church a couple weeks ago. I was sitting there listening to his message, but in the middle of his sermon I came to a conclusion: This kid is living. He is married and working in Maryland, but he’s not in his ideal situation. He wants to be a worship pastor, however, he’s currently working in the accounting department of a company in a relatively entry-level position. Regardless, he’s happy and he knows that in time he will reach his goals…and he understands that it’s in God’s time, not his own. And that to me, is living. Living for God and his will and not being angry and frustrated because we aren’t exactly where we expect we ‘should’ be or whatever at this point in our lives and trusting in the fact that you are exactly where God wants you to be.
In the monk story: I liked the idea of pointing out that so many times we think we know what's best. For the monk, he thought he was doing the tree a favor; maybe dude was a botanist and knew exactly what science said should make that tree grow properly. In his mind, his praying for those things were only for the good of the tree, but the thing is, you can't explain God with science. And him telling God what the tree needed was essentially saying, “I know what’s better for your creation than you do…” and isn’t that what we do by constantly trying to control our own lives and not trusting God to do that?
(I apologize because I feel like this was kind of all over the place, but that's how my mind works haha)
Not all over the place at all :-) I completely follow your thought process, and I understand what you mean when you say your friend is living! I really want to be living too! And I try my hardest to do that every day while I'm here.
DeleteIt's hard for me to be content where I am right now because I KNOW that, come August -- no matter what, I will be somewhere else doing something else. I will graduate (again), and be forced into a new routine. One of my grad school friends just moved away yesterday, and I had a super hard time with it (like, way harder than I thought I would...it wasn't like I was incredibly close to this kid either...sure we had a few classes together and he was in my main group of friends, but it's not like we had super deep conversations or anything). But the day he was gone I was suuuuper sad thinking about it. I think it's because I know that one-by-one all of my other grad school friends are going to leave too as they finish their theses, and soon it'll be my turn.
Being content with where I am now means getting attached to people and being even sadder when they leave. I'm getting very attached to State College, because I HAVE been mostly content here for the past year. But slowly the past few months I've been losing that contentedness because I know it will soon be over. And I know that's not actually how it should be, but that's how my brain sees it right now. This book should help with that I think :-)
And I have NO idea what is next. And it's hard for me not to try to control where I end up and what I end up doing. But at the same time, I need to find a job, you know? Ahhhh. What if I hate it?
Michelle, I love that you described contentment as living. This makes complete sense and is what we all strive for I think. Its undoubtedly hard to do this when things are tough, and I personally think that is because we as humans have a hard time grasping the concept that God does want what is good for us.
DeleteMolly, I know exactly how you feel. I am seriously concerned about what I am going to do after I get my master's degree. I will have loan payments coming and will need to find a job and will I live at home or will I try to get an apartment and can I find a job and money for gas and groceries and a job... It becomes so overwhelming! I stay up worrying about it sometimes. I am learning to trust God, but I still am the type of person who wants to know what the road in front of me looks like. I don't like surprises. I have to believe though that I'll get through it, no matter what "it" is and I'll have God there with me, every little clumsy human step of the way. :)
DeleteI have just simply loved this book! I truely believe it is exactly what God wanted us to read. Before starting this book I knew what contentment meant, but now I'm beginning to understand that God himself is the source of our Christian contentment. Like Linda Dillow says, "Christ is able to provide the strength we need to be content." My favorite part about Chapter 1 was the prescription for contentment on page 13... when I read it I loved it so much I read it aloud to my husband:) I enjoyed the story of the 2 monks growing the olive trees as well, and how the second monk said, "He who made it knows better what it needs than a man like me."Amen!
ReplyDeleteHi Salysa! I also read the prescription for contentment to my husband. It is always nice hear his perspective on things like that :) I am glad that you are in the group!
DeleteMy favorite part of this chapter was on page 16 in the 4th paragraph down. It says "Looking back, I realize I did desire to trust God, but sometimes, He was very slow. When He was moving at what I thought was a snail's pace, I unconsciously decided He needed my help." Ha, this made me laugh. God needs my help to work things in my life...how presumptuous and proud of me to think this, but I so often do. I know that my "problem" with contentment is my lack of trust in God. I don't always believe that God wants good things for me. I know He is powerful, he created the universe, and I know he is King of kings and Ruler over all, and fankly, that makes me nervous. Even though I know the explanation to my fear, I still wonder why God would care so much about me. Often times, my main way of thinking is He can so easily take the good things in my life away for the sake of drawing me closer to him. I know this is the wrong way of thinking and that God wouldn't hurt me on purpose. How thankful I am that we have a patient, understanding God!
ReplyDeleteI am slowly learning to trust God through Jesus. I have started to talk out loud to God :) Usually when I am in my car by myself, driving to school everyday or driving home for the weekend, I talk out loud to God. Most mornings, I stare out my windsheild and say, "I trust you God and I love you!" I say it over and over and sometimes yell it just to make sure He hears me. This is my open declaration to God that I trust Him, or I am trying to trust Him. I picture Him on his throne laughing and saying "you have every reason to trust Me and I love you too!"
I know one of my contentment troubles stems from trusting God and seeing that even when we think He is being "slow," He is actually working something great, something miraculous, just becuase He wants to.
What a great way to start your day... by saying, I trust you God! :)
Delete